lets talk about today...
gonna apologise to the guys first why i was so quiet just now... will explain in this post...
i was thinking... why do i want to change?
why do i seek to be a better person?
why do i always have so much pride in me that i don't want to show how weak i really am?
kinda childish but at least i've set clear my motive...
quiet but think through quite a lot of stuff...
i don't wanna hide away anymore... god... how far can i hide...
it's so true when you said. the more you want to hide things behind close doors the more you'll show what is happening inside.
i prayed and asked god about this at least...
then this came to me...
for god so loved the world he gave his one and only son for those who are willing to humble themself down that you'll let him mould you.
no matter how much i force myself to change... if i will to never unerstand why should i humble down... pride will be able to find so much loop holes to come in and destroy me...
Sorry lord... i know that i had been running away from you for so long now...
giving myself this thing call excuse that hide myself from being humble enough to come to you and seek you for help...
playing tough in front of you and trying to use my own stupid and useless ways to hide myself...
i tried to be strong but i'm weak... without you how far can i run...
for those who are reading this and isn't a believer... i'll say this...
i don't want to hide myself from serving anymore... running away from my MEETINGS(in which is my CareGroup Meet) is useless... i wanna serve with the team together the team that i've seen them changed... the team that have grow from a useless bunch of freaks to a group who is willing to do something... you can hide but how far can you run? i tried to run i tried to hide... but the more i does so... the more i'm draining myself out...
TO A FRIEND :
i will not even know if you are seeing this or not but i'd just say...
you had been a great friend all along... but when time flies... it's getting more and more obvious now...
you said that you treats me as a friend.... if you mean it then please... don't show me that you're just treating me as a freak anymore... i'd guess i hope you won't know who you are... but if you do... i'm just saying... i'm tired of the neglection that i felt...
