haha so long never blog le haha...

finally can rest a while to blog...
finished my FSP LE FINALLY haha. thks to fel and jieying and pohsend and terence and yixiang and val to help me with my project
ytd went to sis wedding!! haha SO cool and felt so happy for her
then went church meeting and wasnt late!!! haha wow! and my eldest sis accompanied me to the meeting haha... though she leave kinda early when she saw more and more people at least haha...
ytd went to thaunt with xue kl and jia sheng... haha then half way saw jean and davine haha... kinda strange though...

we practically talked the whole night haha...

today woke up late but went to school. met xue to do some meeting haha. then saw mokky on the way to class. then they chose to accompany me to class haha. (while typing this some idiot is racing at the road near my road)

then went to complete my fp project in class and handed them to the dunno what thing haha..
went to alumni club with the class. well almost the class haha. we played pool and sing quite a number of songs haha. gary and engyao are super good singer. one tenor one bass haha... get magdeline and fel they can make choir. haha gary is super good haha. sing like gary the singer. then engyao sing like liu de hua muahahah. my class got alot of good singers haha. next time can go make concert. acapella though... think i spell wrongly but who cares haha...

then went home bla bla bla... and prepared for tml's pm haha. god you will make sure that its good and perfect right. haha after all you are the one doing it mah haha.

fel giving weilun tuition tml. felt sad though. cos weilun has seems to stop asking me to help him le. think he felt that im too egolistic... then asking me is like useless already.

weilun if you're reading this. im sorry for what ive done to you. firstly bout my problems in egolistism, 2ndly bout being an idiot who just wants to be your friend.

oh ya i aint gay thks :D

die. 2 days never go school le.
chiong projects at home though. haha. hope to do well. try my best and let god do the rest :D
mom gave ma an angbao sis brough cookie and cream cake for me wow! haha
first time try kinda nice haha.
bernard(future brother-in-law) brought me a shirt. was shocked though but ya happy yes.
completed FP's 1 to 3 cos 4 is presentation.
next week not going to school on tuesday. gonna use that day for fsp fully.
then after that i'm gonna spend time with my frens so long nvr contact them. weilun, terence, engyao, val, chuankiet, and many more.
been living in my own world lately though. a world of me myself and i. haiz... dunno what i've been doing thinking of myself.
while bathing today god spoke to me this verse.
jeremiah 9 v 23- let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strenght or the rich man boast of his riches. 24 but let he who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me that i am the lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth. for in these i delight.
believe god wanna tell me this. i'm a boastful man. but i shall use my boast not on my own strenght but about how great god is. and share his words to the others around me.

today's song will be hm... i will boast- paul baloche

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Or the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
But let the hum- ble come and give thanks

To the One who made us,
the One who saved us

CHORUS
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy,
He's wor- thy

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Or the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his rich- es
But let the hum- ble come and give thanks

To the One who made us, the One who saved us

CHORUS
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God

(1st ending)
I will boast in the One Who's worthy

(Repeat Chorus)
(2nd ending)
I will boast in the One Who's worthy,
He's worthy
INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE
I will make my boast in Christ alone
I will make my boast in Christ alone
(Repeat twice)

CHORUS
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God

(1st & 2nd ending)

I will boast in the One Who's worthy

(Repeat Chorus)

(3rd ending)

I will boast in the One Who's worthy,
He's worthy He's wor- thy

ytd went to WAM VISION NIGHT... a very strong and powerful night it was haha.first time talk to jean who came back from china on sunday haha... she laugh super easily. ( if she read this sentence most probably she will be laughing.) and care about her hair alot haha.

sang quite a number of songs haha... super nice haha... above all... bla bla bla

and TODAY'S MY BDAY!!! wooo!!! but no one really know haha. dint talk bout it anyway haha... until now la.

james told me he giving me something. i wonder...

and song of the day will be - amazing grace- chris tomlin
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see'T
was grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

You are forever mine

today went to welcome JEAN back to sg haha...

she dunno me i dunno her but just go la haha...
heard alot bout her too... believe she will help me alot too haha... i hope to support her or what haha...

the countdown continues though... 5 days...

on the way home i was thinking, why is it always that i need to take all the initiative. like forcing myself to be a super attraction seeker to everyone.
i dont what it that way.
i wanna be normal
just my music and god and i at some quiet cafe enjoying the songs and god's presence.

and today's song will be - deeper - hillsongs united

Light of men
Love of God
Healing for the wounded heart
Like a child I quiet my soul
Hear Your voice surround me Lord
Jesus, hold me into Your heart
Into Your heart
Lord my soul delights
And I know You hear my prayer
Take me deeper Lord
Glorious Son to You I shall bow
Bow my knee, bow my will
Cherished by the strong and the weak
Humble hearts shall hear You speak
By Your love Lord You opened my heart
Now Your light will shine always
By Your Word Lord Your promise secure
And my soul will live always
Take me deeper Lord (2x)

today morning woke up at 930 wanted to go makan with dad and mom be good boy who knows they leave super early.
then found out that they've went to do body checkup haha. they should though. helps them too i guess. but after taking some blood my dad say he felt giddy then came home. haha. by them i'm aslp again haha... woke up at 1030 then helped mom to clear my room for a new bed tat is to be shared with my sis. double bed i mean
then go makan with them haha. so in the end i still good boy haha. went to center point to meet fel. though i was early i dint really rush her. cos trying to learn to be patience. haha.
so finally ya we had our shepherding. more of shopping though. brough my formal clothes damn nice la i tell you haha.. but maybe that goes for me only. always liked formal. look cool. always reminds me of matrix haha. ok thats over haha.
then went to prayer meet. felt kinda good afterall going to prayer meet before service helps alot too. for those who never try before do try to come and feel god's presence before service and also can prepare your heart too. haha
praise was great! kl did the lightings kinda cool and special. haha acturally its nice. though only 1 worship song but was supreme. one song melts all haha.
during teaching fall asleep 2 times. thks xue for waking me up at the nick of time.
then alter call was superb too. god you must work for!!! GUMWF nvm... JUMP!!! jesus you must praise!!! haha
after service they say got some announcement i was eh? funny...got problem haha... then suddenly just say oh no announcements le then i start to ... ehhhhh
haha
then they shocked me by early celebrated my bday today?! haha at the lift there so paisei la haha...
then joseph lin was also like eh... funny.... haha... yea his leg is alright now thk god! haha
dint know that i've helpped the group so much. thks guys for encouraging me.
one thing for sure. i dont wanna be egolistic anymore! i wanna be a friend who will understand the others and help them all the way.
thks for the prayer too. and my wish is simple haha:D HOPE CHURCH TO GROW TO THE NEXT GLORY!!!
after that we chiong to watch harry potter : the order of the phoenix. haha its great i will say. though alot of ppl dun really like it.
but maybe its the type of show that suits me more. alot of psychological warfare in the show.
then went to have supper with the guys but on the way heard that YIWEI'S FRIEND CONVERTED!! LIYING HAHA!!! SHES A JOYOUS PERSON HAHA... she joined us for supper too. then after supper we went home haha...

what a day so much things

AND TODAY'S SONG WILL BE - BE GLORIFIED - CHRIS TOMLIN

Your love has captured me
Your grace has set me free
Your life the air I breathe
Be glorified in me

Your love has captured me
Your grace has set me free
Your life the air I breathe
Be glorified in me

You set my feet to dancing
You set my heart on fire
In the presence of a thousand kings
you are my one desireI stand before you now
With trembling hands lifted high
Be glorified

Your love has captured me
Your grace has set me free
Your life the air I breathe
Be glorified in me

Oh yeah
You set my feet to dancing
You set my heart on fire
In the presence of a thousand kings
You are my one desire
I stand before you now
With trembling hands lifted high

Be glorified
Be glorified in me
Be glorified in me
Be glorified in me
Be glorified
Be glorified in me
Be glorified in me
Be glorified in me
Be glorified in me
Be glorified

You set my feet to dancing
You set my heart on fire
In the presence of a thousand kings
You are my one desire
I stand before you now
With trembling hands lifted high
Be glorified

today woke up early to go to school. was so happy.
then on the way to toilet i suddenly vomited. with no warning then start to feel funny inside.
so chose to rest today and not go to school.
eww.. hate the feeling of something coming out from my stomach... haha... reminded me of family guy. puking contest haha

so stayed at home watched the movies mokky sent me ... haha harry potter 2 3 4
found out that 2 and 4 i watch b4 de haha...

then played some games...
practically today wasnt any day special.

song for today will be - its a new day- hillsong london

Beauty for ashes, joy for my pain
You've given me wings to fly again
Strengh for today, a dance for my sorrows
Because of you, because of you.

Shades of grey turn to colour
Dark of night breaks to day.

It's a new day, it's a new day
Shadows rise at the glory of the son.
It's a new day, it's a new day
The past has gone and life has just begun

Hope for my future,
My life's made brand new
Because of you, because of you
Chains of fear turn to freedom
Silence breaks into praise,

It's a new day, it's a new day,
It's a new day, since you came my way

Shades of grey turn to colour
Dark of night breaks to day.
Chains of fear turn to freedom
Silence breaks into praise.

today's shepherding was canceled again. and i thought that this time it ought to be able to have.
and therefore dint get to go and watch harry potter with terence they all. how i felt cheated.

then chose to go to mokky's house to get some shows to watch
acturally is all harry potter haha. 2 to 4 haah.. dun know the names of the books. haha...

then went home and watch one of it haha...
and here i am blogging...

song of the day will be- the little things give you away- linkin park

Water grey through the windows
Up the stairs
Chilling rain
Like an ocean
Everywhere

Don't want to reach for me do you?
I mean nothing to you
The Little Things Give You Away
And now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
And six feet under water
I do
Hope decays
Generations disappear
Washed away
As a nation simply stares

Don't want to reach for me do you?
I mean nothing to you
The Little Things Give You Away
But now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking
All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
And six feet under water
I do
All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
And six feet under ground now I
Now I do

Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
(Little things give you away)

today super tired and poned IMA. then reached school kinda tired.

thks weilun for talking to me bout my problem. in fact i prefer my friends to talk to me that way. bout my problems cos this way i can learn and change for the better.

seems like i really should change my speech and my thinking of what i am. thought for a while why i've started having the problem of pride and ego issue. cos one thing i konow is that to get rid of something i must first know the root of the problem.

Sorry my friends for all that i've done. Hoping for a forgivness but aint gonna expect all of you to does so. Afterall, what i've done is way too much for you all to forgive me

and 2 words i will forever remember their difference is though and thought. haha that 2 words almost make me lost my friend.

went to cg tonight. and god spoke to me in a verse job 7v9. haha forgot tell the guys what verse it is and just went on.

on the way home was thinking of all that had happened to me lately. so kinda emo haha...

thks zejun and xueping for trying to make a smile on me face. thks

the song for today will be breaking the habit- linkin park

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose'
Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose'
Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls'
Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

shepherding had been postponed to thursday again...
guess i chose to stay in church thks to a few personals who helped me to make my choice
they are xueping, zejun, kokleng and mokky.

felt kinda sad as when i am in problems my shepherd aint one of the person there to help me through my problems.
sometimes felt like giving up, as most of the time i felt that most of her time will be done on her own stuff and more on her sheeps stuff. hoping support from them while giving little support to them. common but sad.

is it time to go up to talk bout my problems or isit time for me to find a shepherd for myself i wondered sometimes.
sometimes felt that post given to us are like a you must do stuff. where is freewill?
it aint like i dont wanna open up to you, its just that i cant find security yet. where is my choice of opening up?
it aint like i'm perfect, neither do you! nobody's perfect not even the first man created!
it aint that i dont wanna make the extra mile, but have you went the extra mile to help? where is agape love?
i aint good a words, its not my fault. not everybody's perfect
i dont wanna be emo too. but i cant find anyone to open up to. thus problems flood in.

sign-job- hope that my next post will be a happy one. and that my shepherdings will not be delayed any longer.

a song today-so help me god-the showdown

Bombarded by philosophies that satisfy the surface
I flee to something deeper
At the risk of seeking purpose
How can I hang in this environmental state of being
When everything Im striving for
Is nothing that Im seeing

(chorus 1)
Wont you take my heart, wont you take my soul
Wont you come and make me whole again
You, youve got what I need and you never retreat
Unto you I will concede

(chorus 2)So help me god
To put my faith in you
So help me god
Before I come unglued
Call it my addiction
I cant get enough of you
So help me god
To put my faith in you

Infected by the skin
Im in this starving with desire
And jesus aint the latest thing to come across the wire
I throw myself at mercy for I am the chief of sinners
But daily taking up my cross
Has brought its share of splinters
Youre there when I callAnd youre there when I fall
Even though I dont deserve it all
You, you light my wayThrough the night and the dayAnd from you I will not stray

(repeat chorus 2)

(repeat choruses 1 and 2)

God so help me
This is my soul plea
Im desperately devoted
I cant get enough of you
So help me god
Cause you are the one I love
Cause you are the one I need[i need you]
Cause you are the one Im seeking[every single day]
Cause you are the one for me

haiz... my communication between my shepherd is getting bad...

dint wanted all this trouble but just had too much problems but communication breakdown is getting over me...


haiz...

once again my shepherding had been postpone... wow... and why aint i surprise

dint felt like talking again... and thus i'm super quiet today again...
should i just let go and change direction or should i drag on and continue doing stuff i'm supposed to do... i wonder...

miss the past so much... the past of happiness and sadness... the past where there is no regret in what i do... the past in which i dont bother about any thing but things around me...

today's shepherding was once again cancelled... as always...

woke up at 330pm then dad ask me accompany him go play pool haha... totally trashed him woots
then sis and bro-in-law came to join us with mom
trashed him too muahahaha... i'm good... neh...
mokky still trashes me like nobody's business
bernard asked me to send him a song here i am to worship haha... kinda hard though cos he tell me got bow down... then i blur blur haha... wat in the world is that haha...
then went home at 11pm WTH WTH WTH play pool for straight 8hr?!

haha... thinking of quite a number of things lately and ya.... hope i'm ready to take up the choice i've made

ytd was a very emo day... haiz...

finally come up with a decision for what i'm going to do next
went to pm as usual... god spoke yea!
then went to service... had a great time there especially the worshiping
celebrated mk's bday at G2000 haha... kinda strange... but special
the guys most probably will not remember mine afterall i aint someone special in the group...
so let it be...
then after that we went to watch TRANSFORMER at 115am WTH!!! so late.. then everyone stick at the kopitiam for no reason so i just walk around alone also think of what i should do too...
oh ya... dint go to stay over at eunice's cause they just told me not to go cos dun nid le...haha
felt kinda ... numb i guess....
ve been feeling numb the whole week acturally... emotionless...
dun really know what i am doing.... just felt like nobody's listening...

few songs came to me for quite a while
nobody's listening-lp
emotionless-goodcharlotte
numb-lp
leave out all the rest-lp
easier to run-lp
what i've done-lp
hit the floor-lp
everybody's fool-evanescence
i just wanna live-goodcharlotte

think its time for me to rest and let it go...
broken inside just cant help much...

a song i wrote ytd think its kinda reflecting my thoughts lately

UNKNOWN

with the darkness i tried to grow
tried to get nearer to you but you never care
i tried to show you that i needed help
but you showed me that you just don't care

so just get out of my life
so just leave me alone now
because you just don't care
i'm just something dark in your life
i'm just something unknown to you
so just leave me alone now
so just leave me alone now
so just leave me alone now....

i see the light but it din't hit me
whatever you do you just kick me out
you don't even bother to understand me
you tried to act that you understand me

so just get out of my life
so just leave me alone now
because you just don't care
i'm just something dark in your life
i'm just something unknown to you
so just leave me alone now
so just leave me alone now
so just leave me alone now....

get out before i..
get out before i...
get out before i....
get out!!! before i start to kill!!!

so just get out of my life
so just leave me alone now
because you just don't care
i'm just something dark in your life
i'm just something unknown to you
so just leave me alone now
so just leave me alone now
so just leave me alone now....



yup... haha...
oh ya... is thinking of creating a band now... anyone interested?

today woke up damn early la... 636am!!! haha... prepare fast fast go to busstop go school. of cause expected qiyu to be there haha... still remember last time always go to the bus stop talk to her then go de haha... took bus with her to her school then changed 74 to school haha... reached school at 759 haha... funny timing and was super tired... early for 1hr sure wont kana scolding de but no! the IP WANG still like to takan me haha... thought i was the best student in the class and yea he just like to pick on me (now i understand why so but everything seems so useless now) ... until today i totally ignored him but ya was tired too haha... will try to listen to his lesson more haha... later he scold me again... think sitting at the back wasnt a good idea afterall...

after that went to listen to some talk... bla bla bla... blea blea blea... bullshits... haha.... but cool haha... and yea my mentor is a great guy! dismiss us super early haha... then went to play pool with the standard guys exclude weilun cos he has something on after that and edwin joined us haha... he totally trash us.... next time must ask mokky help me to kapok him off muahahahahaha! let edwin feel the power of MoKky^ haha...

after that went to amk with terence but damn! he has to drop his jacket at mac ritchie there haha... went back to get for him... and showed him how great parkour is!! haha cos i jump here and there causing me to reach the place faster haha... and catch the bus faster haha... after that we took 852 and he ps me at thomson... then stucked at amk to wait for qiyu and her fren eunice to grab a movie... and LoL they chose die hard 4.0 and i though its the show they wont wanna see haha... qiyu was like freezing in the theatre haha... tried to help her to get warm but my ideas aint working haha... so had to just sit there and see her suffer while doing nothing... haiz... felt bad for not helping her though haha... then a sentence in the show struck me it goes something like this... you gonna be the hero among the people cos no one wants to be the hero. therefore its true... everyone is looking for their heros but they themself dun understand this. they too can be a hero in others life by just helping them with everything you got.

haha show ended at 1130 damn! haha... we walked to the busstop and i said good bye to them at the cross road haha... then luckily my last bus came at 1148!!! phew!!! haha... on the bus waved to them but think they dint see it haha... and HAPPY BDAY MINGKUANG AND JOEL!!!

to my dear mei mei - qiyu

hey sadness is just something that comes inside, forgetting causes more thinking, its better to let it be and let time kill the memories away, memories are good and also bad when you misuse them.

love is something hard and yet easy to handle. so take your time to forget and also chiong for your N LEVEL!! haha...

My Future
earn my first million by age 30
first child by age 25
get married by age 23
get my own house by 23
start my first shop(online/retail) at age of 21
get my first car at age 20