shepherding had been postponed to thursday again...
guess i chose to stay in church thks to a few personals who helped me to make my choice
they are xueping, zejun, kokleng and mokky.
felt kinda sad as when i am in problems my shepherd aint one of the person there to help me through my problems.
sometimes felt like giving up, as most of the time i felt that most of her time will be done on her own stuff and more on her sheeps stuff. hoping support from them while giving little support to them. common but sad.
is it time to go up to talk bout my problems or isit time for me to find a shepherd for myself i wondered sometimes.
sometimes felt that post given to us are like a you must do stuff. where is freewill?
it aint like i dont wanna open up to you, its just that i cant find security yet. where is my choice of opening up?
it aint like i'm perfect, neither do you! nobody's perfect not even the first man created!
it aint that i dont wanna make the extra mile, but have you went the extra mile to help? where is agape love?
i aint good a words, its not my fault. not everybody's perfect
i dont wanna be emo too. but i cant find anyone to open up to. thus problems flood in.
sign-job- hope that my next post will be a happy one. and that my shepherdings will not be delayed any longer.
a song today-so help me god-the showdown
Bombarded by philosophies that satisfy the surface
I flee to something deeper
At the risk of seeking purpose
How can I hang in this environmental state of being
When everything Im striving for
Is nothing that Im seeing
(chorus 1)
Wont you take my heart, wont you take my soul
Wont you come and make me whole again
You, youve got what I need and you never retreat
Unto you I will concede
(chorus 2)So help me god
To put my faith in you
So help me god
Before I come unglued
Call it my addiction
I cant get enough of you
So help me god
To put my faith in you
Infected by the skin
Im in this starving with desire
And jesus aint the latest thing to come across the wire
I throw myself at mercy for I am the chief of sinners
But daily taking up my cross
Has brought its share of splinters
Youre there when I callAnd youre there when I fall
Even though I dont deserve it all
You, you light my wayThrough the night and the dayAnd from you I will not stray
(repeat chorus 2)
(repeat choruses 1 and 2)
God so help me
This is my soul plea
Im desperately devoted
I cant get enough of you
So help me god
Cause you are the one I love
Cause you are the one I need[i need you]
Cause you are the one Im seeking[every single day]
Cause you are the one for me
